There has been a ton of talk around ‘self care’ or ‘self-care’ in the coaching community. As someone whose first gig was in the field of psychology, I’ve always been surprised at the egregious boundary issues that seem to pop up in coaching. And although the phrase is well intentioned, I have seen several talks comparing agile coaching to being “arm chair psychologists.” Hold up!
As someone who used to run a crisis line and was responsible for taking calls from people in real trauma, crisis and in the midst of suicidal ideation, I’m glad that the ICF code of ethics requires an ICF certified coach to distinguish between therapy (dealing with past trauma) and coaching. Coaching is partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential
Now that the definitions are clear, I still have an issue with the term self care, no matter what form of punctuation you use. It sounds boring, meh, like a chore and something else that I need to put on my never ending to do list. I’d much rather aim for being my best self.
Being my best self is being balanced, whole and grounded. This is aspirational and something I want to do. It means sending ad hoc, amazingly horrible karaoke videos to Brian, my writing partner, just because one of his best self moments was getting up on stage at the Global Scrum Gathering in Austin in front of a live band. Being my best self is having the emotional tolerance and ego resiliency to be able to work in resistant spaces day after day, week after week.
Self care is ‘putting on the oxygen mask first’ because the oxygen masks have come down from the ceiling and the plane may be crashing. Doom seems imminent. Self care is an output based metric. Best self concepts are outcome based. Best self is fulfilling your dream of learning to pilot the plane. Let’s take off into the sunrise!
Copyright © 2018 – 2023 Michaele Gardner and Brian Hackerson
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.